Friday, May 17, 2013

05/17/2013

I have started to write a new post many times over the last several days but after two or three sentences I find I cannot continue. I have nothing to say. There are no words to explain the feelings we are all going through here. Heartbroken doesn’t seem quite right because it almost implies that someday our hearts will be repaired. I feel like my heart has been shattered into a million pieces. Over the next several months and years I will work to gather up all the pieces and put them back together. The only problem is one of the pieces will be missing. My heart will never be the same. I will never be the same. My family will never be the same. Someday I hope to be able to think back at all the good times with Mac and look at his pictures without bursting into tears. That day is not today or anytime in the near future. I know it will take time but the thought of living so many moments without him is excruciating. So today I will try to pick myself up and get through the day that seems so long while pretending I am ok.
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3 comments:

  1. CarraghMay 17, 2013 at 7:36 AM

    Becky,

    There truly are no words. You have just gone through the toughest battle of your entire life. For now, take time to yourself. Your cousins are here for anything, anytime.

    You are all so very loved.

    Love,
    Cousin Muscles

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  2. CarraghMay 17, 2013 at 12:24 PM

    Becky,

    I am passing this message along on behalf of a co-worker of Bridget and I from MIT:

    Please know that even people you don’t know are praying that you and your family find the strength to continue on, one day at a time, until that moment you realize that a special memory popped into your head and instead of crying you smiled. There is no cure for a broken heart but someday the pain will lessen. Right now all you can do is feel the way you feel, cry when you want to cry, and know that even complete strangers are thinking of you.

    Kathy Irwin
    MIT Lincoln Laboratory

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMay 21, 2013 at 3:58 AM

    My thoughts and heart and prayers are with you all. There are no words to make you feel better. But please know there are many people who care and want to help in any way we can. Xo

    ReplyDelete

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