05/11/2013

Thank you to all of you for the continued love and support. Mac took a turn for the worse on Wednesday night and his hydration was stopped. When the hospice nurse came on Thursday morning she advised us that all signs pointed to him passing at some point during the day. It is now Saturday and Mac is still fighting on. We have had a couple of incidences where we thought it was his time, but he came back to us both times. I have no idea what is keeping him here. I had been praying for peace for Mac when his time came but quickly learned there is nothing peaceful about watching your child die from cancer. With each passing moment it gets more and more difficult to see him in this state. His coloring has turned blue, he has sores all over his body from being in bed for so long, he has lost a lot of weight and although his body is here still fighting, Mac, our Mac, left us a while ago. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I will never see him smile again, never hear his voice, never watch him roll his eyes at me. I would give anything to change places with him. I would give anything to have 1 more day before he got sick to spend together as a family before knowing all we know now. I am forever changed by the many lessons Mac has taught me and feel so privileged to have been chosen to be his mom. As Mother’s Day approaches think about all the moms who have lost their children and spend some quality time with the children in your life.