Happy Easter

Mac is still home and eating us out of house and home! He has been doing so well over the past week. He has had a few headaches which responded very well to just Tylenol. Wednesday morning he woke up and had a headache. I gave him Tylenol which did not seem to touch the pain. After about a half an hour I gave him some Ativan. We don’t have didn’t have anything stronger for the pain. He seemed ok after a little while. We traveled into Boston for his appointments. His headache returned when we were at clinic and quickly escalated to the point of him screaming and crying. No one at clinic had ever seen him in so much pain. The Neurologist quickly came in and ordered some morphine for him. He said there is no reason for anyone to be in pain for something they can quickly fix. He slept for a few hours while the sutures from his head were removed and I met with his doctor. We decided to go ahead with the Vincristine chemotherapy that was scheduled for the day. I also got a prescription for a pain medication to have on hand, but was told to call and come in if the headache returned with the same amount of pain. At that point they believed his brain was still trying to settle down after be manipulated in surgery and the fact that he was not at home and surrounded by people he did not know very well was the cause of the pain. If the headache returned they would do a CT scan but were pretty sure they would not find anything. Mac has not had a headache since and is in great spirits. Yesterday the boys were officially drafted onto the UMass Lowell River Hawks baseball team through Team Impact. They attended practice and Liam participated in batting practice with a lot of help form the guys. They were given their own lockers and are looking forward to attending the first home game on Monday! I had a nice chat with Liam yesterday on our ride home from school. He asked me if I missed teaching. I explained that I did miss it but am glad I am able to be home to take care of them when they are not feeling well. I also told him that most of all I missed our old life. He said “do you mean before Mac got cancer?” I said yes. He looked out the window and said sadly “me too”. I have been doing a better job of living in the present and not dwelling on the life we used to have or what the future hold for our family. The tears still come, but no longer daily. I felt so blessed this morning to be woken up my Mac in my room asking me for breakfast because he was hungry. When I came downstairs both boys were sitting together on the floor playing Legos. I could not help sheer joy I felt. Even with the dirty dishes, piles of laundry and bills to be paid, and all the cleaning my house needs I thought “this is what life is all about”. We used to take so much for granted in life, worrying about the trivial things. This year instead of stressing over having the perfect Easter all we hoped was that we would not be coloring eggs in the hospital and that both boys would wake up together, at home. We pray the Easter Bunny this year will make one stop at our house instead of having to make a 2nd stop for Mac at the hospital. I cannot help but feel selfish for this, knowing we should just be grateful to have Mac with us at all. So many families will wake up Easter morning with a hole in their heart that will never be filled. Too many families will just try to get through the day missing their angel who was taken far too soon. This Easter please keep Mac, our family, and everyone whose lives have been touched by Childhood Cancer in your prayers. Hug the children in your lives a little tighter. Most of all be grateful for all the miraculous things in your life instead of thinking of what you do not have.