07/01/2013

It has been awhile since I have posted on here. The truth is I am not really sure what to write anymore now that I have no updates to post about Mac. We are adjusting to life without him, and with the start of July so many emotions have begun to flood through me. July is the month we have always taken our family vacation, Mac has always loved the 4th of July, and on the 22nd we will celebrate what would have been his 8th birthday. When I say I miss him terribly it does not begin to describe how much I ache to hug him, here is voice and kiss him while he rolls his eyes at me. I have accepted that my heart is broken and will be forever. I am so blessed to have so many amazing friends who allow be to talk about Mac while they listen and share their own stories. I am blessed to have Liam who has shown me what true faith is about. I will continue to talk to Mac each day; I just wish he were here to answer me. I know he is with me, watching out for me. I draw my strength from that knowledge, but there are days I would give anything to have one more moment with him. I believe there was a reason he was chosen to carry such a big burden on his little shoulders and I believe he is happy hanging out with his Papa now, because the truth is if I didn’t all of the pain we are feeling right now would be for nothing and that is just not something I could live with.