06/06/2013

Well, Tuesday will mark the 1 month of life without Mac. I miss him more and more with each passing moment. It truly has been a roller coaster of emotions. I go from fully functioning to being unable to breath from sobbing so hard to back to functioning in a matter of moments. Our house is so different without him here. I have been busy trying to make plans to keep Liam busy all summer so that the loss of his best friend and confidant is not apparent every moment of every day, but that is like putting a Band-Aid on a broken bone. We are walking in the Floating Hospital Harbor Walk on Sunday. I am overwhelmed by the number of people who have signed up to walk with us in honor of Mac. I am not quite sure how I will feel that day though; seeing so many of the people who have become integral parts of our lives throughout Mac’s treatment but we no longer see. Last year we walked as a family. Mac was right out of inpatient chemo, but we were together. This year I know Mac will be with us, but I miss his physical presence. I hope he sees how many people are there walking to honor him and the way he lived is life. I hope he sees how very proud I am to have been chosen to be his mom. Most importantly, I hope he knows that even with all the hurt and heartache I feel now, if given the choice to do it all over again, knowing how painful it would hurt in the end, I would say yes in a heartbeat because every moment with him was worth it. There is still time to join the Super Mac Attacks on Sunday or make a donation. 100% of all donations will go to the Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Clinic. The link is below: http://www.harborwalkrun.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1059496&lis=1&kntae1059496=C84098F6D61B4371A5CAECC6624D8F03&team=5447416