December 18, 2012

I am not really sure where to begin this post. I have no new news to share in regards to Mac’s treatment. He is still doing well and amazing everyone with his strength and courage. I have been overly emotional, especially since the horrific events of Friday, recently. I have been crying a lot more, but to be honest, I have cried every day since January 17^th for one reason or another. I have found myself thinking so much about the parents whose hearts have been ripped out of their chests, siblings who lost their best friends, and families who will never be the same. The unfortunate thing is that these thoughts did not start on Friday. They started many months ago as I met and watched as children fought cancer bravely and heroically and when too many of them became angels.

This is our first Christmas since Mac’s diagnosis and so much has changed. I have always wanted to give the boys the perfect Christmas, what has changed it just what the “perfect Christmas” is. In years past this meant making sure the tree looked perfect, the lights were up outside, and all the gifts were perfectly wrapped and under the tree. This year our “perfect Christmas” has already started. We got great news about Mac’s MRI, my brother as able to come up to visit, and we have started spending time with our amazing family and friends. We are so blessed to have both our boys with us and not a day goes by that I do not remember that. I am trying my best not to think about our future and what next Christmas may be like. For now I will enjoy every moment with my boys.

I have listened to this song that I have heard before, but has taken on so much more meaning to me over the past year.  I wanted to share it because of how it so perfectly summarizes my feelings.