November 27, 2012

Sorry for the delay in posting. I am happy to report that I have nothing to report. Mac is doing so well. He still tires easily, especially at school, but other than that he is great. I am finding it easier and easier to look at him and see Mac, my son, and not Mac, my son that is battling for his life.

 With the holidays here it is so easy to get caught up in the commercial aspect of shopping and decorating and forget what the season is really about. One of Mac’s greatest gifts to us is his ability to see the magic of the season without questioning it. In his world, magic and miracles happen every day. He is teaching me how to enjoy today, and let tomorrow come as it may.

I still believe everything happens for a reason. As our family navigates through this journey the reason is still not clear, but we are adjusting, learning, and in many ways becoming better people because of it. As I think back over my life, there is nothing I am more proud of than my two boys. They are two of the most compassionate, loyal, and good people I know. They have allowed me to learn how to live with Mac’s cancer as an aspect of our life instead of continuing to focus on it as the center of our life on my own time. I know as we have our ups and downs all of us will continue to battle with feelings of resentment, anger, and disappointment for all of the “could have beens”. I don’t know if I will ever come to accept what has happened to our family, and hope that many of you will not either. There is no reason for so many of our children to be forced to rage war on their bodies with so little being done to stop it. Please continue to keep us and all families affected by Childhood Cancer in your prayers and thoughts, and please continue to talk about Mac and all the children who bravely smile through tears of pain and disappointment so that someday the research that could save them will get the funding and awareness our children deserve.