We just arrived home from round 2 of chemo. Mac is one of the bravest people I know. This round was much tougher than the last. He had nausea and vomiting everyday and has developed mouth sores. He was also constipated so he was in pain for several days. Mac is in great spirits. I, however, feel like I am standing in the doorway of hell and have no choice but to walk through it. I have gotten a glimpse of the pain he is facing. I know in the weeks and months to come he is going to get a lot sicker before he can get better. It is so hard to look at your child and see the pain in their eyes and wish for nothing but the power to take that pain on yourself so they don't have to.
As always thank you to all of you for all of your prayers and support!
Becky I don't know how you feel but I can relate to feeling powerless as you watch your child go through something so painful. It sucks. There are no options and no way out. The only way is through. Whenever you can I hope you release that fury and let some of that out. I don't know how or have any secrets that I can share but I know that being Mac's Mom and advocate will power you through. Going all crazy mom on someone can feel great. It may give you something to laugh about once you realize what you did!
ReplyDeleteYou are surrounded by amazing people at Tufts, amazing Docs and an amazing family and friends so you have already done everything possible to get Mac better!
I hope you feel everyone's love enveloping you as you manage such an incredible thing!
Always in our prayers and heart!
Brenda
Becky,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you and Billy have to watch Mac fight this. It really isn't fair.
I hope that the good days can soon outweigh the bad. In the meantime, I'm up for a good b**** session any time!
Love,
Carragh
Becky,
ReplyDeleteMac is courageous - I see this more and more. But Mac is brave because you and Billy have shown him what bravery is. I watched you both morph into "warrrior" mode that first night as we waited through Mac's surgery. You asked questions that I had not even thought about. Billy's calming and supportive demeanor is what helped us all that night and continues to help us through this. And though Mac was your immediate concern the both of you stood strong to make sure that Liam has what he needed.
Becky, I look at you and recognize the truly strong woman you are - Mac is indeed a superhero but how could he be anything other than what you and Billy have nurtured him to be!
The road ahead will be filled with unknowns and I hate that your family has to go through this . . . but know this - we love you and we are in this with you.
I think any woman who can look as beautiful as you did that night in pearls and sweats can face down anything! Just open the door and get out of her way!!
Love you lots and lots,
Mom
What a beautiful and spot on sentiment! Thank you Becky's Mom for putting into words what we have all been thinking since this whole thing started!
DeleteI have to agree with Mom. I'm so proud to call you guys family. Love you all! Stay strong!
DeleteHecky,
ReplyDeleteI dont have any kids so I would love to relate to that but I can't. I wish I could give you all the advice in the world on how to handle it but I cant. Watching you handle this with bravery and overall strength is something inspirational. You have instilled that fight in Mac and he had to learn that from someone =) I'm with Carragh and I am awesome at B**** sessions.... I'll bring the beers!
OMG I am soo sorry I wrote Hecky!!!! I meant Becky!!!!
DeleteSTUPID CANCER!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSeeing the kids so sick is very hard on the mom's!!!
For the constipation, try some of the sugar free candy - it actually says "may have a laxative effect" - that might work. I also just found this recipe for bran muffins and it was yummy. Maybe a friend can make them for you?
http://pinchofyum.com/raisin-bran-muffins
Thank you so much! I will definitely give these a try! Also, thank you for the earlier recommendations of the websites. Our "There is a Monkey in My Chair" kit just arrived and I will be bringing it to his school on Monday. It is so cute and perfect for his 1st grade class!
DeleteYou are welcome!! Glad you got the Monkey!
ReplyDeleteNancy =)
Becky,
ReplyDeleteI can't even begin to imagine the kind of pain you must be feeling. I remember how I felt when mine were suffering after having their tonsils out...but that pales in comparison. I am just happy for you that Mac is such a trouper and keeps you going. Sam and Lexi continue to pray for Mac daily (as do I). As difficult as it may be, try to get a few minutes here and there for yourself. :) Denise, Lexi and Sam
Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin